Whose Line is it Anyway? Harry Potter Style
by Valias
Summary: Hagrid is the host, Dumbledore's a player, lots of humor! FINISHED!
1. Default Chapter

"Whose Line is it Anyway?" Harry Potter Style  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or "Whose Line is it Anyway?". J.K. Rowling owns Harry Potter, and "Whose Line is it Anyway?" is owned by ABC Family. I know this has been done before, but this is my version! Please R/R to get more chapters! : )  
  
Chapter 1: Film Dubbing  
  
Cast: Hagrid: Host  
Harry, Ron, Hermione, Dumbledore: Comedians  
Everyone else: the audience  
  
Hagrid: On teday's show, he's ev'ry girl's prom dream, Harry Potter! *Harry smiles and all the girls scream.* He has red hair, everyone give it up for Ron Weasley! *Ron scowls while the audience laughs and claps.* Miss I haven't brushed my hair in weeks, Hermione Granger! *Everyone laughs hysterically and claps.* And last but not least, I shaved my head, give it up for Albus Dumbledore! *Everyone claps and Dumbledore bows, bare head and all.*  
  
*Show starts and Hagrid walks down the stairs from the audience section wearing a snappy suit with a yellow tie *  
  
Hagrid: Come on down, let's have some fun! *sits in Drew Carey's desk and pops an Altoid* Hello and We'come to "Whose Line is it Anyway?", the show where everything's made up and the points don't matter. That's right, the points are just like the price of Harry's old bedroom. * everyone laughs; Harry scowls* They just don't matter.  
  
Now, for those of you who've never seen the show before, this is an unrehearsed show in which every game is based on suggestions we get from the audience before the show starts. Now, let's get the show started with a game I call film dubbing. This game is for Ron, Hermione, and Dumbledore. *They walk up to the t.v. on a cart.*  
  
What's going to happen is they're going to have to improvise a scene from another movie based on the scene I give them on this card here. The scene is the last scene from Sorcerer's Stone and the scene you're going to have to improvise is... *reads card* Oh geez, Hagrid's modeling career has just taken off. Remember who pays you! And let's get started!  
  
*movie starts at the part where they're all outside of the train station ready to go in the train; you can only see the movie and hear the dubbed voices* (Ron's doing Harry's voice, Hermione's doing her own voice and Dumbledore's doing Hagrid's voice. NOTE: I might not have this scene exactly, so bare with me please!)  
  
Hermione: Come on Harry. *everyone boos*  
  
Harry: I have to pee, hang on. *walks over to Hagrid*  
  
Hagrid: Can you give my portfolio to your agent? *hands Harry his photo album; Harry opens it*  
  
Harry: Sure. Nice pictures of you, Maxime, and Hagrid Jr. at your wedding. *the real Hagrid blushes*  
  
Hagrid: (sarcastically) Thanks so much for getting me recognized! *hugs Harry* You better go, or you're gonna be late for your flight to L.A. And listen 'arry, if you don't give that dope little agent of yours those pictures, I'm going to give you ears and a tail! *Harry runs to train*  
  
Hermione: Bye Harry!  
  
Harry: I'm in love with Moaning Myrtle!  
  
Hermione: WHAT? *out of context; gets on train as scene fades and Ron and Hermione start bickering* ~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
The REAL Hagrid: That was great, 1,000 points for Dumbledore for doing a perfect impersonation of me. We'll be right back after the break, don't go away!  
  
End of Chapter 1. R/R if you want more! ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 


	2. Scenes From a Hat

"Whose Line is it Anyway?" Harry Potter Style  
  
Disclaimer: Always first chapter only Sry this was so short! There may be another scenes from a hat chapter, but I'm not sure! R/R!  
  
Chapter 2: Scenes from a hat  
  
*Whose Line music plays as Hagrid gets his cue cards organized.*  
  
Hagrid: Hello and we'come back to "Whose Line is it Anyway?" the show where the points don't matter, just like this fake 100 galleon coin I'm holding up. *Crabbe and Goyle run up to Hagrid's desk and take the coin.*  
  
Crabbe: Mmm, chocolate!  
  
Hagrid: Erm, ok. Now let's get to another game called scenes from a hat! This game is for all four of yeh, come on down! Now, before the show started we asked the audience to write down suggestions of things that the cast will have to act out. We kept the good ones and fed the bad suggestions to Fluffy. The first thing they have to act out is... the weirdest sandwiches.  
  
*Harry steps forward first and bites an imaginary sandwich.* Mmm, cat litter!  
  
*Ron steps forward and does the same.* Mmm, every flavored ham!  
  
*Hermione steps forward.* Mystery meat!  
  
*Dumbledore steps fourth.* Earwax!  
  
Hagrid: Ok, tha's enough, yer ruinin' my appetite! Next... strange things to say out loud at a school assembly. (stepping forward to give examples is implied here)  
  
Ron: Has anyone seen my chocolate frog?  
  
Harry: *sits in chair and pretends to pull gum from under it and holds up pretend gum* Anyone lost blue bubblegum?  
  
Hermione: Coca-doodle doo! Wake up people!  
  
Dumbledore: The baby's coming, somebody call an ambulance!  
  
Harry: Hey Hagrid your fly is undone! *Hagrid instinctively checks to see if it's true.*  
  
Hagrid: Allrigh' allrigh' Now... Strange endings to a romance movie!  
  
Dumbledore: I love you, Professor Trelawney!  
  
McGonagall: Tell me it isn't true!  
  
Hagrid: Let me remind you tha' they're just actin'. Tha' was hilarious. 5,000 points each an' we'll be righ' back with more "Whose Line is it Anyway?" when the author has time to post another chapter. 


	3. Informercial

"Whose Line Is It Anyway?" Harry Potter Style  
  
Thanks to the reviewers! Keep reviewing and I'll keep delivering!  
  
Chapter 3: Infomercial  
  
Hagrid: Let's get back ter the show with a game called Infomercial. This game is for Harry and Ron. *They walk to table set in the center of the stage. There are two boxes, each filled with various props.* In this game, the players will have ter use the various props located in the boxes to try an' "sell a product." The product Harry an' Ron will have to try an' sell is... *reading cue card* A remedy for greasy hair. *Everyone looks at Snape, who is scarlet.* Start whenever ur ready!  
  
Ron: We'll be back with "Dances with Kneazles" after this short break. Do you have greasy hair? And I don't mean the occasional greasy hair day, I mean greasy hair that just won't "ungrease". Well then do we have a product- or products- for you! Now, for the first time ever, is the Degreasing Hair Miracle. It's a several step process that will, eventually, permanently rid you of your greasy hair- as long as you continue to use the Degreasing Hair Miracle for life. It's now available through this special t.v. introductory price of twenty-five easy payments of just twenty-three galleons each. Now, even I, can afford that.  
  
Harry: That's 575 galleons! *Everyone stares at him and he clears his throat.* Well, let's get to the first step, shall we? *reveals what looks like a plastic apple out of his box* I'm hungry, aren't you? *pretends to eat the apple, then throws it off stage; retrieves a backscratcher out of the box* Ah, when you have deep-down grease, you first have to scrape the grease out of your hair. *Harry carefully brushes Ron's hair with the backscratcher as Ron squints. Then Harry takes the backscratcher and looks at the "fork" part of it.* Just look at all that grease- and that hair!  
  
Ron: Now that that's done with, we need to massage the pores of your hair, so clean, non-greasy hair can grown in. *gets a foam "toe-separator" that one uses when getting a manicure.* And what better way to massage your hair than with this strange contraption? *starts to massage Harry's hair with the prop* You see, it's best to get a friend to help you, to get deep-down and clean those hair follicles. *Harry's hair gets classically messy.*  
  
Harry: *brushing his hair flat* Now that's deep-down clean! After you exfoliate your hair follicles, your head might feel a little sore. That's why you'll need this- *fetches a paint roller out of his box and starts to roll his hair with it* (under his breath) Hey, this actually flattens my hair!  
  
*Hagrid sounds his buzzer as Harry and Ron walk to their chairs, Harry bringing his paint roller.*  
  
Hagrid: Doesn't yer head hurt, Ron?  
  
Ron: Yes, it does actually.  
  
Harry: Here, use the paint roller.  
  
Ron: I think I will. *uses the paint roller to roll his hair.*  
  
Hagrid: We'll be back with more "Whose Line is it Anyway?"! ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 


	4. Lines

"Whose Line Is It Anyway?" Harry Potter Style  
  
Thanks to everyone who has reviewed and please, keep reviewing!  
  
Chapter 4: Lines  
  
Hagrid: Hullo an' once again, this is "Whose Line is it Anyway?" Hey, did anyone hear abou' Harry Potter's fan club? *Harry perks up.* Yeah, apparently among the many gifts you'll receive fer joining is a free pair o' lightin' bolt underpants. *Harry blushes and everyone laughs.* I should know, I'm wearin' some now. *Everyone stares at Hagrid.* An' o' course, I'm jokin'... Now, let's move on to a game called "Lines," played by Ron an' Hermione. *Ron and Hermione walk to the stage.*  
Fer this game, our players will have ter act out a scene, during which they'll have ter say the various lines written by people in the audience that are written on tiny pieces of paper, which they have in their pockets. They've never seen these lines before. And the scence they'll have to act out is... Donald Trump, played by Ron, falls in love with Minerva McGonagall, his recently hired employee trainer, played by Hermione, and... start!  
  
Ron: *pushes his hair toward his forehead* Well, I must say, you've done an excellent job training my new Apprentice cast, and I might not actually fire you.  
  
Hermione: Thank you, Mr. Trump. It's truly been an honor.  
  
Ron: No problem and please, call me Donald.  
  
Hermione: Sorry, Donald.  
  
Ron: Would you like to have some caviar?  
  
Hermione: Sure.  
  
Ron: Hang on, let me call the concierge. *uses pretend cell phone* Yeah, I need, like, a pound of caviar, and could you pick me up a Big Mac too?  
  
Hermione: Wow, I thought you only ate thirty-dollar hamburgers!  
  
Ron: Well, I don't like to tell many people but... I have a Big Mac after every episode of the Apprentice.  
  
Hermione: No way, so do I!  
  
Ron: Oh, I imagine with your boyfriend, Albus? Or was it Karkaroff?  
  
Hermione: No, Karkaroff was over fifty years ago and Albus and I just broke up when he told me... *takes piece of paper out of her pocket* "Excuse me, I forgot to brush my teeth."  
  
Ron: So, you're saying you're single?  
  
Hermione: Yes, and how are you and your model girlfriend doing?  
  
Ron: We just broke up, too.  
  
Hermione: Aww, that's too bad. *There is a brief silence.*  
  
Ron: You know, I had tickets to the Backstreet Boys concert tonight... but  
  
Hermione: I love them too, Mr. Trump... I mean Donald. Sorry.  
  
Ron: Don't apologize, my love.  
  
Hermione: Excuse me Mr. Trump...  
  
Ron: I've loved you for so long, and now I feel like jumping up and saying... *takes piece of paper out of his pocket* "Happy St. Patrick's Day!"  
  
Hermione: How did you know I'm Irish?  
  
Ron: Are you kidding me? I knew ever since you wore that four-leaf clover pin to work every day. And, besides, I'm Irish too.  
  
Hermione: This is all too coincidental. Are you spying on me Mr. Trump... Donald?!  
  
Ron: No, of course not. I have professionals do that, I mean... So what's your favorite Backstreet Boys song?  
  
Hermione: Oh, it would definitely have to be the one called, *takes other piece of paper out of her pocket* "What, do I have a bug in my eye?"  
  
Ron: That's a classic. So what do you say, Backstreet Boys concert or caviar?  
  
Hermione: Backstreet Boys concert! I don't like caviar either.  
  
Ron: Neither do-  
  
Hermione: Don't say it, Donald.  
  
Ron: Ok, I'll just say... *takes his last piece of paper out of his pocket* "Either kiss me or take me to the barbershop!"  
  
Hermione: Well... that hair is awful but... *She kisses Ron on the cheek as Ron blushes and the buzzer sounds.*  
  
Harry: Something tells me that wasn't acting? *Ron and Hermione are dead silent.*  
  
Hagrid: Ron, Hermione, you're both fired! *Ron and Hermione look fearful.* No not really; one-thousand points each an' we'll be back with more "Whose Line is it Anyway?!" Don't go away or you're fired! 


	5. Props

"Whose Line Is It Anyway?" Harry Potter Style  
  
Kudos to the reviewers and keep reviewing!  
  
Chapter 5: Props  
  
Hagrid: We'come back ter "Whose Line is it Anyway?" the show where the points don't matter, jus' like my rock cakes.  
  
Audience: *Sympathetic "aw"*  
  
Hagrid: Tha' was a joke. I actually baked a mini rock cake fer everyone! You'll get em' after the show. Now, let's move on to a game called "Props." This game is for all four of yeh, come on down an' get yer props. *Harry and Dumbledore each get an oversized coffee filter while Ron and Hermione get a large foam ball.*  
  
In this game, the players'll have ter come up with as many things to do with their props as they can. And... start!  
  
Harry: *puts his huge coffee filter on his head* Yo D'dore what's up? *Dumbledore puts his coffee filter on his head and walks like a thug* Nuttin much, Potter dawg. *Hagrid sounds buzzer.*  
  
Hermione: I think something's wrong with my basketball. *Hermione and Ron try unsuccessfully to dribble their foam balls.* *Hagrid sounds buzzer.*  
  
Dumbeldore: *Waving his coffee filter through the air* This is the most unconvincing UFO hoax I've ever seen. *Hagrid sounds buzzer.*  
  
Ron: *gets on his knees and picks his ball up, with difficulty, with his mouth and the spits it out* Bobbing for apples! *Hagrid sounds buzzer.*  
  
Harry: *throws his coffee filter and it goes two feet before flopping to the floor* Bad day for frisbee. *Hagrid sounds buzzer.*  
  
Hermione: Just look at Ron's muscles! *puts one ball and Ron puts the other so that they look like arm muscles*  
  
Ron: I guess all those chocolate frogs really did pay off! *Hagrid sounds buzzer.*  
  
Dumbledore: *moves his coffee filter like a jellyfish and pretends to get shocked* AHH! *Hagrid sounds buzzer.*  
  
Ron: *tries to balance on his ball with his feet while Hermione tries to balance her ball on her nose* Come see Barnum and Weasley's Circus act, coming soon! *Hagrid sounds buzzer.*  
  
Harry: *puts his coffee filter on the floor and moves it like a graceful animal* You can clearly see why the Shih Tzu won best in show. *Hagrid sounds buzzer.*  
  
Hermione: This is the biggest cherry on my sundae I've ever seen!  
  
Ron: This is the biggest scoop of icecream I've ever seen! Wait... maybe not. *Hagrid sounds buzzer a final time.*  
  
Hagrid: 1,000 points to everyone, and we'll be back after the break! Enjoy my rock cake recipe at www.rockcakesrock.com! ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~*~* 


	6. Threeheaded Broadway Star

"Whose Line Is It Anyway?" Harry Potter Style  
  
Thanks to all who reviewed. For those of you who want longer chapters, I'm sorry but I have school work too ya know.  
  
Chapter6: Three-headed Broadway Star  
  
Hagrid: Hey! We'come back! Let's move on to a game called three-headed broadway star. This game is fer Harry, Ron, and Dumbledore, come on down! And we need a member from the audience *walks up to audience and picks someone out* Hello, we'come ter the show! What's your occupation?  
  
Mrs. Sprout: Don't be silly Hagrid, you know I'm the Herbology teacher at Hogwart's.  
  
Hagrid: Ok, come on down! *Mrs. Sprout walks down and sits in the stool set in the center of the stage.* Now, in this game, our players have ter sing a Broadway number one word at a time as if they were one person with three heads. Ok, audience, fill in the blank: I love how you _________________.  
  
Audience: plant flowers!  
  
Hagrid: Good! First, let's give it up for our musical guests tonight, the Weird Sisters! Everyone claps as the Weird Sisters bow.* Al'righ, players, begin! begin! *Weird Sisters start playing the "Whose Line?" Broadway music.*  
  
Harry: I  
  
Ron: love  
  
Dumbledore: how  
  
Harry: you  
  
Ron: plant  
  
Dumbledore: your  
  
Harry: flowers.  
  
Ron: When  
  
Dumbledore: you  
  
Harry: plant  
  
Ron: them  
  
Dumbledore: I  
  
Harry: get  
  
Ron: soiled. *Audience looks confused and Harry and Dumbledore stare at Ron strangely.*  
  
Dumbledore: You  
  
Harry: plant  
  
Ron: my  
  
Dumbledore: happiness  
  
Harry: with  
  
Ron: your  
  
Dumbledore: flowers.  
  
Harry: Planting  
  
Ron: flowers  
  
Dumbledore: is  
  
Harry: so  
  
Ron: dirty *Again, audience is like "what?!"*  
  
Dumbledore: yet  
  
Harry: fuuuun.  
  
Ron: There  
  
Dumbledore: are  
  
Harry: so  
  
Ron: many  
  
Dumbledore: different  
  
Harry: variations  
  
Ron: of flowers. Oops!  
  
Dumbledore: Maandrakes... *climax of song*  
  
Harry: are  
  
Ron: a  
  
Dumbledore: weed  
  
Harry: or  
  
Ron: were  
  
Dumbledore they a... sorry!  
  
Harry: heeeerb?  
  
Ron: It  
  
Dumbledore: doesn't  
  
Harry: matter  
  
Ron: anyway  
  
Dumbledore: because  
  
Harry: Lockhart  
  
Ron: doesn't  
  
Dumbledore: know  
  
Harry: either.  
  
Ron: Please  
  
Dumbledore: don't  
  
Harry: water  
  
Ron: me  
  
Dumbledore: with  
  
Harry: hatred  
  
Ron: or detentions! Oops!  
  
Dumbledore: I *song winds down*  
  
Harry: love  
  
Ron: how  
  
Dumbledore: you  
  
Harry: plant  
  
Ron: your  
  
Dumbledore: flooooweeers!  
  
*Mrs. Sprout shakes everyone's hand and winks at Dumbledore. McGonnagal looks livid.*  
  
Hagrid: Thanks for being here Mrs. Sprout and putting up with these goofballs! 1,000 points each and we'll be back after the commercials! ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ R/R! 


	7. Sound Effects

"Whose Line Is It Anyway?" Harry Potter Style  
  
Thanks to the reviewers! Please keep reviewing!  
  
Chapter 7: Sound Effects  
  
Hagrid: We'come back! We had a request from an audience member who wanted to know what Harry's phone number was! Get a piece of paper, girls! Harry's phone number is 555-123...  
  
Harry: No!  
  
Hagrid: On'y kiddin! This next game is for Harry and Ron; come on down! *Harry and Ron walk to center stage* This game is called sound effects. Our players will have to act out a scene, with all sound effects provided by an audience member and our special guest! Everyone, please welcome the one and only, Gilderoy Lockhart!  
  
*Lockhart walks out with screaming from the audience- whether out of fear or joy- no one can determine. There is a bodyguard protecting him- or is that an asylum security guard? Nevertheless, Hermione runs up to Lockhart and receives an autograph.*  
  
Lockhart: No problem, and please buy my #1 bestseller, Rita Skeeter: a biography of buggy proportions.  
  
Hagrid: ok... Lockhart, you'll be doin' sounds for Harry and let's see... *paces around audience* Neville... you'll be doin' sounds for Ron. *Neville comes down and stands on the side of the stage with Lockhart. They are both handed a microphone.* The scene is... Harry, a school janitor, and his friend Ron are stuck cleaning the entire school for a detention. Start!  
  
Harry: I can't believe we're stuck cleaning the whole school!  
  
Ron: I know. Why'd you have to set Fluffy loose in Potions, Harry?  
  
Harry: Well, Snape said bring something in that'll cause a nuclear reaction.  
  
Ron: I don't think he was serious.  
  
Harry: Oh, and he wasn't serious when he put that balding potion in Dumbledore's goblet?  
  
Ron: That's another story. *Dumbledore looks dumbfounded and Snape looks something horrid at Harry.*  
  
Harry: Well, we better get started. Let's clean up the cafeteria first. I think it got the full effect of Fluffy's havoc.  
  
Lockhart: WOOF! WOOF!  
  
Harry: I guess Fluffy's still here. Fluffy, GO LAY DOWN!  
  
Lockhart: MEOW!  
  
Harry: I told those first-years not to leave the t.v. on in the cafeteria. Ron, could you turn off the t.v. while I go get the cleaning supplies?  
  
Lockhart: WOOF! WOOF! MEOW!  
  
Ron: It won't turn off. *puts strain in his voice as he pretends to turn the knob on an imaginary television.*  
  
Neville: Oh, click!  
  
Ron: It's off. Let's start vacuuming. I call the Huver!  
  
Harry: You mean Hoover. Fine, I'll get the Dirt Devil. *They pretend to retrieve vacuums and vacuum the floor.*  
  
Neville: vrmmmm vrmmm  
  
Harry: Oops, I forgot to plug mine in. *pretends to plug his vacuum into an outlet*  
  
Lockhart: VRMMMM VRMMMM BOOM!  
  
Harry: *jumps up, as does Ron* I think my bag was too full. Let's mop the floor instead.  
  
Ron: How about you mop and I sweep. *Pretends to get a broom*  
  
Neville: Swish sweep, swish sweep  
  
Harry: *pretends to get a mop* Wow, my mop is pleasantly peaceful.  
  
Lockhart: *makes monkey-like sounds*  
  
Harry: Oh, I spoke too soon. There's Cornish pixies stuck inside somehow. *pretends to shake broom and throw it off stage*  
  
Ron: Enough of this, let's clean the windows. *He and Harry pretend to get Windex and paper towels. Then they pretend to spray the Windex on the "windows."*  
  
Neville: Spray! Spray! Spray! Spray! Spray! Spray! Spray! Spray! Spray!  
  
Harry: Do you think you got enough cleaner there, Ron?  
  
Ron: Well, look at your window!  
  
Lockhart: Ooh. Spray.  
  
Harry: My bottle is empty. I'll be right back. *pretends to get another bottle of Windex*  
  
Lockhart: Spray Spray Spray Spray Spray Spray Spray  
  
Harry: That's better. Time to wipe the windows! *pretends to rip off some paper towels from his fake roll of paper towels*  
  
Lockhart: Rip!  
  
Ron: Oh no, first the t.v. now this- they.won't.rip.off....  
  
Neville: TEAR!  
  
Ron: There we go.  
  
Lockhart: Squeak! Squeak! Squeak! Squeak! Squeak! *Harry pretends to wipe his window as Lockhart is squeaking.*  
  
Harry: Ah, a job well done!  
  
Neville: SWIPE! SQUEAK! SWIPE! SQUEAK!  
  
Ron: Well that's finished. Time to clean up the Potion's room! *They both groan as Hagrid sounds the buzzer.*  
  
Hagrid: That was good! 10,000 points to Lockhart for containing himself... somewhat! *Lockhart was now handing out copies of his "Rita Skeeter biography* printed on what looked like recycled restaurant placemats.* Now, onto the commercials!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 


	8. Party Quirks

"Whose Line Is It Anyway?" Harry Potter Style  
  
Thank you very much, reviewers! Keep on reviewing!  
  
Chapter 8: Party Quirks  
  
Hagrid: Hey! Let's continue with a game called "party quirks." This game is fer all four of yeh. *All four cast members walk down to the stage.* Now, Harry, yeh'll have ter guess who the other players are, that is, what they have written on the cards I gave em' during the break, as you greet them to yer "party." And... begin! *Harry is in the center of the stage and the other three players are off to the side.  
  
Harry: *acts like he's setting out food on a table* I hope I got enough chocolate frogs. I wonder if I have time to run to the Sunoco for more food? *doorbell sound* Oh, I guess not. *Goes to where a door would be and pretends to open it. Hermione steps in.* Hullo, welcome to my party.  
  
Hermione: *acts like she's holding a plate of something, pretends to set it on an imaginary table, hugs Harry, and pinches his cheeks (which freaks him out)* Ooh, you've gotten so big. I brought you some cookies. I set them... now where did I set them?  
  
Harry: Um, on the table there...  
  
Hermione: Oh yes, now I remember. *doorbell rings; Harry opens it- it's Ron.  
  
Harry: Hey, come on in mate.  
  
Ron: Duck... *pats Harry's head, then runs over to Hermione and pats her head* duck... *goes over to Hagrid and pats his head* GOOSE! *Waddles like a duck/goose and runs away from Hagrid. Hagrid looks baffled, so he just sips his butterbeer.*  
  
Harry: Ok then... *doorbell rings and Dumbledore enters* Hey, the party's just getting started. *Dumbledore strolls in and pretends to suck on lemon drops* So, why were you late? Bad traffic? *At, this, Dumbledore starts to do the Macarena for a moment, stops, and answers Harry's question.*  
  
Dumbledore: No, actually I was investigating a certain incident involving a balding potion. *Snape ducks his head so low that all you can see is the top of his black, greasy head* Ah well. Do you have any cookies?  
  
Hermione: *runs over to Dumbledore with her "plate of cookies"* Right here! They're still fresh out of the oven. I bake only the best cookies for my... now who did I bake these for again?  
  
Dumbledore: *does the Macarena again* I'm afraid I don't- *Ron waddles over to Dumbledore.*  
  
Ron: Duck... *waddles over to Hermione* duck... *waddles over to Harry* GOOSE! *Ron quickly waddles away from Harry.*  
  
Harry: Oh, I get it now! Get out of my party, person who thinks he's a real goose playing "Duck Duck Goose". *Hagrid sounds buzzer as Ron walks back to his seat.*  
  
Hagrid: Good!  
  
Hermione: *Goes over to Harry* Excuse me young man, but where am I? *Dumbledore does the Macarena again*  
  
Harry: Erm- at my party.  
  
Hermione: Right... and... who are you again? *Dumbledore does the Macarena.*  
  
Harry: Your niece?  
  
Hagrid: No, try again!  
  
Hermione: Oh yes! How could I forget! I remember day I became a... Now what did I become when your mother had you? *Dumbledore does the Macarena yet again.*  
  
Dumbledore: *wipes sweat off his face* Whoo, now this is a workout!  
  
Harry: grandmother?  
  
Hagrid: Almost, but yeh gotta expand a little bit.  
  
Harry: My very forgetful, pampering grandmother? *Hagrid sounds buzzer.*  
  
Hagrid: Right! *Hermione walks back to her seat.*  
  
Harry: And that leaves... Who are you?  
  
Dumbledore: *says nothing, but simply does the Macarena*  
  
Harry: A person who does the Macarena whenever he's asked a question? *Hagrid sounds buzzer as Dumbledore goes to his seat.*  
  
Hagrid: Right on the nose! 1,000 points ter all of yeh and 5,000 points ter Harry for gettin' the characters right so fast. *Harry smiles his Colgate smile.* An' we'll be right back with more of "Whose Line?"  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 


	9. The World's Worst Dating Videos

"Whose Line Is It Anyway?" Harry Potter Style  
  
Thanks, reviewers! Keep on reviewing!  
  
Chapter 9: The World's Worst Dating Videos  
  
Hagrid: Hey! Sorry fer the delay, but I got caught by a venomous tentacula! Audience looks unconvinced No, not really...heh...on with the show, then! This next game is called: The World's Worst Dating Videos! We have a special guest, too! Everyone, please we'come Wayne Brady! Wayne walks out and bows to applause.  
Will Wayne, Harry, Ron, and Dumbledore please step down! Harry and Ron are at one stool while Wayne and Dumbledore are at the other stool. In this game, the players'll have ter use the hats an' props from each o' their boxes an' come up with examples of, what else, the world's worst dating videos! Annnd, start!  
  
Dumbledore: pulls out rabbit ears and rabbit teeth and puts them on I'm leaping for your love!  
  
Harry: pulls out those weird glasses with the big nose on them and puts them on. He talks in a congested voice. And this is only my nose!  
  
Wayne: gets a microphone out And now it's time for a hoedown!  
  
Ron: gets a boom box and a "thug hat" out of the box and puts it on We can jam all night long! Audience looks disgusted To the music, you sickos!  
  
Dumbledore: gets a piggy bank out I don't have much money; that's where you come in! Audience looks shocked.  
  
Harry: gets out sun block You'll need more than SPF 15 to handle my good looks!  
  
Wayne: gets out red bull energy drink I'll give you more than just wings!  
  
Ron: gets out a stuffed rat AHH! throws it and instead gets out a clown nose and puts it on while the audience laughs at him I'll make you laugh for hours! the audience looks very confused  
  
Dumbledore: gets out a leprechaun hat and puts it on Hey, size isn't everything! Look at what I can do! does an Irish jig as Hagrid sounds the buzzer  
  
Hagrid: Everyone, give Wayne a round-of-applause! Commercial time! 


	10. Philmar

Thank you reviewers! To make up for my lack of updates, here's another! I can't update often, but please review!  
  
Chapter 10: Philmar (spelling?)  
  
Hagrid: Once again, we'come back! Let's play a game called philmar! This is a game for Harry and Ron! Come on down! In this games, Harry and Ron will have to narrate as well as act out a scene in a sort of "film war" to stump the other player! The scene is: a conflict breaks out at the office! Ok guys!  
  
Old-fashioned philmar music plays  
  
Harry (to Ron): I know you did it Ron, didn't you! Why?  
  
Ron: faces the audience I knew Harry was going through a midlife crisis, but really, what was this outburst for? So I decided to ask him. turns back to Harry Did what?  
  
Harry: faces audience Was this guy really as clueless as he looked? Well, I was going to find out. turns back to Ron Stole my post-it notes, that's what! Ron once again turns to the audience  
  
Ron: It was true, I did steal his post-it notes. I have a terrible memory. Or were they Hermione's post-it notes? turns back to Harry I might have. Then again, I might not have. Harry turns back to audience  
  
Harry: He said such insightful statements for a nitwit. turns back to Ron What do you mean by that?  
  
Ron: turns to audience For being employee of the month, he sure asked some stupid questions. I've always wanted to be employee of the month. sniffles and turns back to Harry I mean what I say and I said what I meant. (An elephant's faithful one-hundred percent.)  
  
Harry: turns to audience I needed to get my post-it notes back. So I tried asking some trickier questions. turns back to Ron Why don't you just give me back my post-it notes before I forget where my desk is!?  
  
Ron: turns to audience And I thought my memory was bad. turns back to Harry Or else what? Harry turns to audience.  
  
Harry: I needed to sound like I would do something if he didn't give me my post-it notes back. I couldn't really think of anything. turns back to Ron Or else I'll... it doesn't matter what I'll do. Where did you put them?  
  
Ron: turns to audience Only a fool would tell him where I put the post-it notes. I'd tell him, but I forgot where I put them myself. I was starting to panic because the boss was coming. turns to Harry Even if I could remember, I still wouldn't tell you! Hahahahaha!  
  
Harry: turns to audience He was starting to sound like Dr. Evil, so I decided to forget about the post-it notes. turns back to Ron GIVE ME BACK THOSE POST-IT NOTES NOW!  
  
Ron: turns to audience This was getting ridiculous. They were only post- it notes for peat sakes. I was about to make a comeback when the boss gave Harry a stack of post-it notes for being employee of the month yet again. I hate my life. Hagrid sounds the buzzer.  
  
Hagrid: 2,000 points each because I can! Bye! 


	11. Compilation Album

"Whose Line is it Anway?" Harry Potter Style!  
  
Much thanks to the reviewers!  
  
Chapter 11: Song Styles  
  
Hagrid: Hello an' we'come back! Let's move on to "compilation album". This game is for all four of yeh, come on down! Harry and Ron stand off to the side while Dumbledore and Hermione sit in two stools set out on the other side. For this game, we'll need a subject to make a compilation album for. Someone shouts out "Hogwarts!" Good enough. Harry an' Ron will be singin' while Dumbledore an' Hermione will be introducin' the songs. Ok... start!  
  
Dumbledore: We'll be back with 101 Lemon Drops after this short break. Do you like Hogwart's, Hermione?  
  
Hermione: Well, Professor, it's ok I guess. I mean, it could be a little better in some-  
  
Dumbledore: Well, if so, have we got just the album for your collection! Introducing The Hogwart's commemorative album. It' available for just ten easy payments of 99.95! And who in the world could ever forget that great Nsync hit about Severus Snape entitled, "Brew Ur Potion."  
  
Nsync music starts to play; goes to the tune of Justin Timberlake's "Rock Your Body". Harry and Ron dance like Nsync while Draco laughs at them.  
  
Harry: I'm gonna brew ur potion...to the break of day  
  
Ron: It will be so simple...if you brew my way  
  
Harry: My hair's grease but I don't mind Snape gets paler than usual and writes a mental note in his head to give Harry a lifetime's supply of detentions.  
  
Ron: I just wanna brew po-tions  
  
Harry: So get a cauldron and  
  
Ron: Some dung beetles if at-hand  
  
Harry: You can brew, do it cool  
  
Ron: Cause' brewin' is so easy  
  
Harry: Except for Neville he-he (He mutters an apology to Neville.)  
  
Ron: So take notes, don't bring a wand  
  
Harry: So dewing some bats and dewing a couple more, put them in the cauldron in the middle of the floor  
  
Ron: Do be so quick to stir it up  
  
Harry: Cause' if you forget to, it'll surely suck  
  
Ron: Do I have to mention, stir some more Harry: Counter-clockwise, or get a 'Poor' Hagrid sounds the buzzer.  
  
Hermione: Do you hear that, Dumbledore?  
  
Dumbledore: Hear what?  
  
Hermione: The sound of that British trio BBMak singing their hit song entitled "Harry Potter." The tune of "Back Here" plays.  
  
Harry: I woke up at three  
My scars hurting me  
I can't take it no more  
  
Ron: Voldie's in his dreams my dreams He wakes up and screams And gets lectured by Dum-ble-dore  
  
Harry: 'Cause here I am, at Hogwarts  
  
Ron: At least he's not at the Dursley's!  
  
Harry: My name is Harry Potter... Famous for an ugly scar  
  
Ron: His hair won't even sit flat...  
  
Harry: And I get all these stares from first, second, third years  
  
Ron: All 'cause of dreadful, dumb...Vol-de-mort!  
  
Harry: So I'm in Po-tions Snape's bein' a bum I can't take it no more  
  
Ron: He's making Harry get Dung beetles, the git He might just get a de-ten-tion  
  
Harry: 'Cause here I am, at Hogwarts At least I'm not at the Dursley's!  
  
Hagrid: sounds the buzzer 1,000 points each!  
  



End file.
